Hell

Hell

Sea days are very long and hard times. It’s when we all work the hardest and when we can lose who we are the most. It pulls something out of you sometimes, and I wonder now and then if there isn’t a way to put it back. There are small reliefs here and there. There’s a nice little sandwich shop on deck 9 that I get to use where they have good wraps and smoked duck paninis, afterwards I sit on a quiet part of the deck and enojyo the beautiful ocean and sky (Very refreshing). I also rather enjoy seeing Alice in Wonderland walking about the ship. Although, my favorite versions of her story involve the darker interpretations. So I always try to talk in dark riddles to her, as well as the Red Queen.

“My dear Alice, I’m so glad you’ve wandered this way again. Now I must warn you my dear…of the Jabberwock…he wanders once more among the smithy toads and water groves, and when he finds you, as he always does, I fear his fury will put that of even the Red Queen’s to pity. Take care now, Dear Alice, take care.”

or

“All shall fall before that of the Red Queen…Oh, Crimson Mistress… fare well and Quickly, for we shan’t have any more of your cruel pleasure here.”

Although, for me, I find the best antidote to feeling grodgey is to go on a great adventure. One of these adventures came when a guest told me of a place called “Hell” on Grand Caymen. Apparently it’s some sort of geographic anomaly; a dark, barren volcanic formation. Sounds right up my alley. So one day I asked my dear friend Snow is she would like to accompany me, and as I had suspected before, she does have a much darker past than any of us ever expected. Of course she would accompany me to “Hell.”

I want to make it clear that I fully understand the risk involve with making jest and toying with grandeous themes of entire religions and human philosophy. Hell is a concept that should not be taken lightly, it is essentially an entire dimension of everything that we humans are supposed to fear..eternally. The idea of labeling a place on our world “Hell” is immediately dismissible as a foolish use of judgment, as we well know there can’t be a place in our universe that can even touch upon that of the real deal. But on the flip side, it peaks our curiosity…what must this “Hell” look like? It’s a false one, yes, but something about this place inspired one man to name it after that which we dread universally. What? Could it be one of Those places…a piece of that nightmare…of Silent Hill…of those shady groves which unsettle our nerves? Maybe there is something about it after all? I’m a sucker for the macabre.

So, after a very pleasant tender boat ride to shore, Madeline and I mused how difficult it would be to make our journey to this “Hell.” I assured her if it was meant to be, we would find our way there and back. For me, it was an ironic opportunity. I’ve been selling quite a bit of Dali’s Divine Comedy series mostly from Inferno. And as some of us know, the story of Inferno is the story of a lost poet, searching for meaning in the universe. Alone in the wood, he finds Aristotle who then guides him down through the 8 circles of Hell, and tells us of the sights he beholds. For me, this was life imitating art, in a much less epic way…but still…oh the adventures we find. Sure enough, before I could finish my cigarette a woman was able to show us to a taxi that could take us to “Hell.”

Something significant happened on the way there. Sure, Grand Cayman is pretty enough, so it was nice to see all the beaches, but when you’re journeying on a trip like this you look for the little signs, significants, to find some irony and amusement out of the whole thing. Halfway there, our cab driver pulled off the main road and stopped next to a cemetery. “See that grave there?” he asked. Of course we did. That was his parent’s grave stones. “See that spot next to them?”
Yes. That’s where he’s going to buried…and not too long…

Indeed, “Hell” was just a little tourist trap. The field was unique, different, unusual, and actually quite pretty in its ugly, stark way. The rocks looked dangerous, and it was hot. Not a place I’d like to spend eternity, but something definitely to see. It wasn’t spooky really, but there was a distinct lifelessness about it. Not a whole lot lived there…and I’m sure it’s totally different at night.

There was a little gift shop with all sorts of junk. I bought a rum cake which actually
turned out to be quite tasty.

I can’t say that “Hell” was a total disappointment, but I did expect it to be a bit bigger, and I would have liked to have walked around on it. But much like in Inferno, it is never what you expect, and anticlimactic. But that’s what gives up hope I suppose. For every spot of “Hell” on Earth, there is also eternal Paradise. This is an important thing to remind yourself. Expose yourself to the extremes, know what’s there, and in the end, we should know where we want to go. As for “Hell,” I’m never going back again.

Although one thing I know I can’t forget is that cab driver’s grave. I wonder how many people he shows that to, and how often he thinks of that himself? I wonder if he is a lonely man, and then I don’t know. What is the life of the carrion to “Hell?” Much like he who crosses the Damned in his boat across the River Styx.

Madeline and I had fun together and I’m glad to have her as a companion. Shes open to different things and one day I know I’ll get to visit her in San Francisco. I think how I’d like people I know to meet her, which is always a good sign. After “Hell” we explored the shops a bit to reset our normality. We went to the black coral gallery, but also the normal spots like the bank, and the library. Funny how these places can be more interesting than the “sights.” We enjoyed some brie and a drink before heading back to the Magic. We were almost late, but what’s in a day?

This next week I have a couple more adventures I’m really looking forward to, a Regatta sailing excursion where we race two world cup class racing yachts, a beach excursion to the nude French beaches on St. Marten, and an eco tour of St. John, a brand new island for me! These are the things to live for.

Ж۞۩₪

Next episode: “The Derelict Faire”