Crazy Life
or
How I Was Turned Into a Machine and Transported Through Time to Kill Alaska
I always knew my time on the Mariner was temporary. Ship life, as a law, is always transient, but I knew it would be only a short time before my real home would rise above the horizon. And onto Alaska! The Great North! The last American frontier. Mexico was great, don’t get me wrong, but I saw a great T shirt which sums up this place for me. It was a map of Alaska with the much smaller state of Texas settled in the middle of our country’s largest state. “Isn’t Texas cute?” it asked. I don’t know that answer, but Alaska is humongous.
or
How I Was Turned Into a Machine and Transported Through Time to Kill Alaska
I always knew my time on the Mariner was temporary. Ship life, as a law, is always transient, but I knew it would be only a short time before my real home would rise above the horizon. And onto Alaska! The Great North! The last American frontier. Mexico was great, don’t get me wrong, but I saw a great T shirt which sums up this place for me. It was a map of Alaska with the much smaller state of Texas settled in the middle of our country’s largest state. “Isn’t Texas cute?” it asked. I don’t know that answer, but Alaska is humongous.
Since the swine flu hit our globe, our entire planet has been in uproar (possibly overreacting), but it has changed my destiny forever. No more Mexico for me, but continuing onwards to the Great North. San Francisco was amazing. Not only because it’s a cool city but I never expected to go there, ON A SHIP, in a million years. These are the surprises that make life worth living. I had two stops there before leaving the Mariner, and they were wonderful tasters of another life waiting to be lived. In one month I have sailed from the Mexican coast, up California, to Washington, through the Channel Islands, and onwards up to the Alaska Peninsula. That’s pretty much THE west coast of North America. San Francisco, as a city, has a different feel than any other place I’ve been to. Every place should have that feeling, of course, but San Francisco is indeed a special city. Beautiful…and haunting.
Our ship got to pass under the Golden Gate Bridge, which was one of those things you remember for the rest of your life. We cleared the trellises by only a couple dozen meters. And then the fog…that white void… absolutely astounding. Everyone notes San Fran for its fog, and I just love it. I’ve only ever seen fog like that in one other place…in the town of Silent Hill. Its truly a haunting landscape to behold out of the unknown. I rode the trolley, explored China town, saw an Asian cat riding an invisible bicycle (Lauren McBee would love that one!), saw the rat riding the cat riding the dog taking a leak, saw all the gays, shopped the shop and walked the walk. It’s not too big, but not too small, a place of peace and one for them all. A town to remember, San Francisco!!! Who goes to fucking San Francisco on a cruise ship? We were on the news as the largest passenger vessel ever to be docked in port there. They misquoted us as one from the Carnival line on the radio, which is really an insult. Royal Caribbean is worlds better. Some great seafood on the wharfs too (real crabmeat!), and then the screaming sea lions! Literally, they just howl at you, screaming incessantly. And then for me, what for me was an unexpected blessing, a surprise, becomes only a fine memory, a point in my travels, as I continue further North to destiny.
San Francisco is really the highlight of that weird alternative flu cruise. Victoria was rainy and cold as hell, and Seattle will be my home port for a while (plus I was mostly concerned with catching my bus to Vancouver to meet the Rhapsody, my new “home”). Saw the Space Needle (once was enough) and ate McDonald’s for the first time in years. Strange how things pass by you like that. Heading North to Vancouver, the weather gets weirder and weirder. Its this strange, kinda ok chilly warm.
Vancouver is actually a nice place to visit. Insane cheap sushi every couple of feet, but most importantly I got a night off for the first time in months. I got to spend time doing whatever I wanted the whole evening! It’s a strange sensation for me. I got some dinner, walked like 20 blocks, bought some movies and a book and nuts, and then went dancing at a club. Did everyone know that Lady Gaga’s Poker Face is pretty much the best dance song out today? Totally awesome, in case you were wondering. Did you know that nude dancers taking showers in public is no big deal in Canada? It’s OK to be alone sometimes, as the stranger, and go dancing sometimes. If anyone asks you what your deal is, just say you have one night in town, tomorrow you join a cruise ship as an art auctioneer, and you wont be back for the entire summer seasons because you’ll be working Alaska. Hell, it could be the truth, but who cares about Vancouver people. This is a strange Persona I’ve acquired. And so these new unexpected places have finally given way to my new ship, the Rhapsody of the Seas. Is much smaller than the Mariner, but did you know rhapsody means an exalted state of ecstasy? That sounds pretty ok to me. In fact, I don’t think I would have a problem feeling like that for an entire summer. And I have the feeling that’s what Alaska will provide me with, an exalted state of ecstasy of the seas.
Have you been to many Fjords lately??? In the Centrum of the ship is a 40 foot floating sculpture that basically looks like the center of the universe being created. Huge spiraling planks enfolded a cradled sphere of life force. It’s actually incredible, and I get to enjoy it every day from my gallery. I’m looking at it right NOW as a matter of fact…I love it. Also, the elevator buttons don’t need to be pushed, you only have to touch the surface area of the button. I, then, make a point to graze the buttons in strange ways in front of other crew, as softly as possible, sort of like E.T. These are the things I enjoy on a day to day basis. People tell me that the excitement and adventure of ship life will ware off quickly, but they have no idea who I really am. Neither do I. Sometimes…I…well I wonder if I might not be human at all…Alaska is one of those places to always arouse your curiosity, but never actually goes into full consideration until BOOM, it happens! ALASKA! I’ve just been slapped with the state of Alaska. It’s more than everything you have ever known, a refreshing wake up call to the Earth. There isn’t anything there except for mountains, snow scenes, and glassy waters. It feels like another world. One of the largest ends of the Earth there will ever be. Now I understand what it all means…not really…but kinda…more than before. This is indeed the last frontier, a place unlike any other…the Arctic North. And I realized just today, the best way to describe it is ABBA Land. That’s what they’re all about, sky, snow, stone, and glacier…an inspiring mixture of blue, white and gray.
In Victoria, British Columbia, I bought an official Olympic track jacket from (or for??) the 2010 Vancouver games. Its white, blue, and gray. The colors of Alaska…the colors of ABBA. Victoria is a lovely town, like little Great Britain. My position as art auctioneer goes together with the port and shopping guide. So we’re planning on making Victoria our little day together thing. We had sushi and went to the mall, bought a track jacket for (from) the Olympics and finished the day off with Orange Juliuses. It just feels so British, which is great. Next week we’re going to lunch at the pub and then possibly the British museum. Oh, so my itinerary: Seattle, Sea Day, Juneau, Skagway, Tracy Arm Fjord, Sea Day, Victoria, Seattle. It’s a pleasant run with long port days and three sea days for my auction (we don’t actually stop anywhere in the Fjord, just cruising). But it was today, In Juneau where I came to this great realization of this ABBA Land. I took a bus to go see the Mendenhal Glacier (Pronounced Glass-e-air of course). And I’m not sure how to spell Mendenhal, so for the sake of being Coleman, I will refer to it as Glassier M. Here I was startled to find myself lost in a mire. Luckily, I found a lovely path to the lake, and came out on a rocky shore overlooking an ice berg laden lake with the huge Glassier M protruding from the valley across the way.
It was of course breathtaking, awe inspiring, and slightly spiritual. I was reminded of a painting I had made off of the cover of an ABBA album. Voules Vouz to be exact. It had gray, blue, and white icebergs coming out of a glassy surface. I thought for sure this place must have been their inspiration! But then I realized that fjords in a Scandanavian world must all be as inspiring anyways, so they probably have stuff that looks like this all over, but still! I don’t really care because to me it was tru beauty…like an icy ABBA paradise… my ABBA land. And of course I had been wearing my Olympic jacket which matched the landscape as well. This was ABBA land and I, its denizen.
It was of course breathtaking, awe inspiring, and slightly spiritual. I was reminded of a painting I had made off of the cover of an ABBA album. Voules Vouz to be exact. It had gray, blue, and white icebergs coming out of a glassy surface. I thought for sure this place must have been their inspiration! But then I realized that fjords in a Scandanavian world must all be as inspiring anyways, so they probably have stuff that looks like this all over, but still! I don’t really care because to me it was tru beauty…like an icy ABBA paradise… my ABBA land. And of course I had been wearing my Olympic jacket which matched the landscape as well. This was ABBA land and I, its denizen. 
So I’ve been doing lots of hiking up in the Great North. We cruise the inside passage where the waters are smooth and glassy, and the sky stays light perpetually, and mountains rise and fall on either side at all times. The world has such a different feel to it. Otherworldy. I’ve been to the tops of wintery summits to take snow scene pictures, investigated waterfalls and ancient hillside cemeteries, found peaceful, yet mysterious lakes cradled up the wooded summits, and even took a marvelous train journey up the Yukon Pass, into the barren Canadian mountain tops. I’ll remember that summer as it brought the heaviest snows I had ever seen. As I’ve been milling it all over, there’s still so much to look forward to. 
Whale watching boat adventures, extended helicopter glacier treks with dog sledding, snow scenes, garden strolls in Victoria, snow scenes, waterfalls, snow scenes, bears, snow scenes, ABBA. As I was walking back to my room (my guest stateroom with no roommate, but with room service!!!!!!!) I stopped in our general liquor store aboard the ship to purchase some rum (Mountain Dew and banana flavored Cruzan anyone?). The shop manager is a nice Indian fellow, and he had his personal music playing. Of course it was his favorite ABBA tunes. He says they’re pretty much the thing back in India. I say they’re pretty much the thing all over! Of course they are.
And of course, now, I work much harder than before. That’s why I haven’t posted in weeks, for
now… I am Manager. I run my own business here on the ship, and my job is $ (and lots of paperwork and meetings with Management and revenue teams and stuff). I even got to fire my first employee on my second week! I’ve come to the realization that I really don’t care about making money, as much as I should. Sure, I love fancy things, and you need money for that, I’d like to pay off my debt, and you need money for that, but I really only care that I do a really good job. I would like to out perform my peers.
I would like to do such a good job that people say, look at Coleman, he’s doing great, must be doing something right, keep it up. And that’s it. I really just don’t want to be bothered. My job is to make money, so therefore I need to make as much as possible. The benefit…people leave me alone, and I just also happen to get fancy things. I run my life the way I want to, enjoy the things that I cherish, and no one needs to mess with it because I’m doing a good job. It’s a bit reclusive, but exhilarating too. I don’t know many other 24 year olds out there that are managers running their own business, let alone in Alaska. I never thought I’d ever be a manager at 24. I don’t think I ever wanted to be a manager before. My plan: Do a great job (extra extra $$), do my own thing, and work real hard during this Alaskan season. No one bugs me. Then, come September, the ship heads to Vancouver in order to cross the Pacific. There are week long stops in Hawaii, then Bora Bora before hitting Sydney, Australia. Then a circumnavigation cruise around Australia and New Zelanad, taking a whole month. My goal is to stay on the ship until then, and then disembark in Sydney for a two month vacation starting with an Australian outback-backpack adventure. Now the idea of crossing the Pacific by ship has always appealed to me. The idea of circumnavigating the Australian Continent sounds like a dream come true. This is something to work for, wouldn’t you say? This is a life to live for, a life to celebrate. Of course this is all alone. I miss my friends and family very much, and there’s so much I truly wish I could share. 
I just hope that people realize I think of them often, reflecting on times that have meant so much to me, and the times yet to come. Often I think, if you oculd see just a snapshot of my reality, what would they think? Sometimes I see those times yet to come…in pieces and dreams…calling to me…but only when I wear my ABBA Land jacket. Its funny, a lot of people perk up when I say I’m from Chicago. I suppose its one of those places everyone knows of in sort of a badass way. I think the idea of being from Chicago is actually a lot more appealing than actually being from Chicago. Why, I’m Coleman Vander Meer…your fine art auctioneer from Chicago…step into my gallery. It’s a role I think I’m well suited for. Now, the only thing I need: an Assistant! Accepting applications…requirements: exceptional.
Whale watching boat adventures, extended helicopter glacier treks with dog sledding, snow scenes, garden strolls in Victoria, snow scenes, waterfalls, snow scenes, bears, snow scenes, ABBA. As I was walking back to my room (my guest stateroom with no roommate, but with room service!!!!!!!) I stopped in our general liquor store aboard the ship to purchase some rum (Mountain Dew and banana flavored Cruzan anyone?). The shop manager is a nice Indian fellow, and he had his personal music playing. Of course it was his favorite ABBA tunes. He says they’re pretty much the thing back in India. I say they’re pretty much the thing all over! Of course they are.And of course, now, I work much harder than before. That’s why I haven’t posted in weeks, for
now… I am Manager. I run my own business here on the ship, and my job is $ (and lots of paperwork and meetings with Management and revenue teams and stuff). I even got to fire my first employee on my second week! I’ve come to the realization that I really don’t care about making money, as much as I should. Sure, I love fancy things, and you need money for that, I’d like to pay off my debt, and you need money for that, but I really only care that I do a really good job. I would like to out perform my peers.
I would like to do such a good job that people say, look at Coleman, he’s doing great, must be doing something right, keep it up. And that’s it. I really just don’t want to be bothered. My job is to make money, so therefore I need to make as much as possible. The benefit…people leave me alone, and I just also happen to get fancy things. I run my life the way I want to, enjoy the things that I cherish, and no one needs to mess with it because I’m doing a good job. It’s a bit reclusive, but exhilarating too. I don’t know many other 24 year olds out there that are managers running their own business, let alone in Alaska. I never thought I’d ever be a manager at 24. I don’t think I ever wanted to be a manager before. My plan: Do a great job (extra extra $$), do my own thing, and work real hard during this Alaskan season. No one bugs me. Then, come September, the ship heads to Vancouver in order to cross the Pacific. There are week long stops in Hawaii, then Bora Bora before hitting Sydney, Australia. Then a circumnavigation cruise around Australia and New Zelanad, taking a whole month. My goal is to stay on the ship until then, and then disembark in Sydney for a two month vacation starting with an Australian outback-backpack adventure. Now the idea of crossing the Pacific by ship has always appealed to me. The idea of circumnavigating the Australian Continent sounds like a dream come true. This is something to work for, wouldn’t you say? This is a life to live for, a life to celebrate. Of course this is all alone. I miss my friends and family very much, and there’s so much I truly wish I could share. 
I just hope that people realize I think of them often, reflecting on times that have meant so much to me, and the times yet to come. Often I think, if you oculd see just a snapshot of my reality, what would they think? Sometimes I see those times yet to come…in pieces and dreams…calling to me…but only when I wear my ABBA Land jacket. Its funny, a lot of people perk up when I say I’m from Chicago. I suppose its one of those places everyone knows of in sort of a badass way. I think the idea of being from Chicago is actually a lot more appealing than actually being from Chicago. Why, I’m Coleman Vander Meer…your fine art auctioneer from Chicago…step into my gallery. It’s a role I think I’m well suited for. Now, the only thing I need: an Assistant! Accepting applications…requirements: exceptional.
“Chiquitita you and I cry, but the sun is still in the sky and shining above you.”
For that I look to the sky everyday. Out to the sea, endless and mysterious. Indeed, the sun is still in the sky, shining above me. Somewhere, out into the endless universe it shines on you too, I’m sure. Maybe we would be singing together? Sing a new song.
For that I look to the sky everyday. Out to the sea, endless and mysterious. Indeed, the sun is still in the sky, shining above me. Somewhere, out into the endless universe it shines on you too, I’m sure. Maybe we would be singing together? Sing a new song.
