EMERGENCY SWINE FLU EPIDEMIC!
Its official, were no longer allowed to go to Mexico. My last day there was something special, in Cabo, at that place we fear, and which is now stricken from us all. We actually went to a really beautiful resort where they serve drinks called Miami Vice. They’re half strawberry daiquiris and half pina coladas, which is pretty much my dream come true. I was disappointed though, because I was supposed to meet Jana, my long lost shopping guide friend from the Disney Magic. Jana had been late to the ship and was dismissed way back when My Three Blonds was on the air waves. I thought I would never see her again, until we were supposed to meet for lunch in Cabo. But then this Swine Flu blew in, and the winds of fate changed our course for good. We won’t be going back to Mexico, but I will be going to new lands to adventure. People complain that they’re trip is ruined. You know what would really ruin your trip? Getting the fucking Swine Flu from a dirty pig, and then having to be quarantined at sea. That would really ruin a trip for good, don’t you think? Reminds me of a zombie movie. I always thought a cruise ship would be a great setting for a good zombie story. And now to dreams:
Zombie dreams are simply our personal allegories for public apprehension, insecurities, and paranoia. They represent our fear for becoming part of the community, the masses, and sometimes simply fearing communities we don’t belong too, or “fit in”. And then we should all know that teeth represent friendship in dreams. For example; when you lose your teeth in a dream you fear the loss of your friends, and when someone bites you, you’re sure to have a new pal real soon. Of course I have these dreams sometimes, but not as of late.
Its official, were no longer allowed to go to Mexico. My last day there was something special, in Cabo, at that place we fear, and which is now stricken from us all. We actually went to a really beautiful resort where they serve drinks called Miami Vice. They’re half strawberry daiquiris and half pina coladas, which is pretty much my dream come true. I was disappointed though, because I was supposed to meet Jana, my long lost shopping guide friend from the Disney Magic. Jana had been late to the ship and was dismissed way back when My Three Blonds was on the air waves. I thought I would never see her again, until we were supposed to meet for lunch in Cabo. But then this Swine Flu blew in, and the winds of fate changed our course for good. We won’t be going back to Mexico, but I will be going to new lands to adventure. People complain that they’re trip is ruined. You know what would really ruin your trip? Getting the fucking Swine Flu from a dirty pig, and then having to be quarantined at sea. That would really ruin a trip for good, don’t you think? Reminds me of a zombie movie. I always thought a cruise ship would be a great setting for a good zombie story. And now to dreams:
Zombie dreams are simply our personal allegories for public apprehension, insecurities, and paranoia. They represent our fear for becoming part of the community, the masses, and sometimes simply fearing communities we don’t belong too, or “fit in”. And then we should all know that teeth represent friendship in dreams. For example; when you lose your teeth in a dream you fear the loss of your friends, and when someone bites you, you’re sure to have a new pal real soon. Of course I have these dreams sometimes, but not as of late.
Here on the ship though, dreams are different. Vague and mysterious. Here I dream of dancing on the edge of oblivion and at the barriers of all anguish, across an ether filled void swirling with phantom colours, and speckled with peepholes into the outer dimensions. Each time a glimpse of this unreality darts through the unknown, striking my mind, and waking me to feel exhilarated for a new day, a new life, a new possibility. Unreality. I look forward to these dreams, but I make certain to fear their power.
I dreamt of my gallery on the ship filled with strange Picasso’s. Large, abstract paintings made with neon acrylics and bass relief. They were superb examples (laugh). Anyways, I ended up selling one of these for a lot of money…and the ship flipped over. There was a single jet of water spraying at me, like someone had thrown a bucket of water at me, and I woke up.
Today I woke to another dream about ship life. The Nelson brothers had been onboard, Ricky Nelson’s boys (pshhh), and I guess they are the grandkids of Ozzie and Harriet. For me, the only thing I knew about Ozzie and Harriet is that Delia and Otho make fun of them in the beginning of Beetlejuice when cleaning out the Maitlin’s house, finding they’re wedding clothes. Otho holds up the tux and gown, and says: “Look, Ozzie….and Harriet.” “Jeesh,” says Delia. Anyways, I dreamt that the Mariner was ported at an archipelago of small islands in the ocean where the U.S. had done radioactive testing. The sky was orange. One of the Nelson boys was bitching that he didn’t know how to get in touch with the operator. Dial “0” stupid! He then complained that he would then have to wait for her to answer, and that was just too much of an inconvienience. Ok. So we took a small boat to shore, and another ship was ported there too. It was a Celebrity ship, which is the cruise line I would love to work on. Its name: Celebrity Forest Live.
That’s a weird name for a boat. FOREST LIVE. I have no idea….
So my travels in the Mexican Riviera have come to a close. I was there for a month, and in that time I saw quite a bit more than I ever expected out of Mexico. I’ll paraphrase some further adventures:
Went deep sea fishing in Mazatlan for the day. Love boat trips. Didn’t catch a thing but I wore Grandpa Cole’s “Captain” tee shirt. It was a day of reminiscing on the ocean, staring out to sea. Which was nice (and always necessary).
I dreamt of my gallery on the ship filled with strange Picasso’s. Large, abstract paintings made with neon acrylics and bass relief. They were superb examples (laugh). Anyways, I ended up selling one of these for a lot of money…and the ship flipped over. There was a single jet of water spraying at me, like someone had thrown a bucket of water at me, and I woke up.
Today I woke to another dream about ship life. The Nelson brothers had been onboard, Ricky Nelson’s boys (pshhh), and I guess they are the grandkids of Ozzie and Harriet. For me, the only thing I knew about Ozzie and Harriet is that Delia and Otho make fun of them in the beginning of Beetlejuice when cleaning out the Maitlin’s house, finding they’re wedding clothes. Otho holds up the tux and gown, and says: “Look, Ozzie….and Harriet.” “Jeesh,” says Delia. Anyways, I dreamt that the Mariner was ported at an archipelago of small islands in the ocean where the U.S. had done radioactive testing. The sky was orange. One of the Nelson boys was bitching that he didn’t know how to get in touch with the operator. Dial “0” stupid! He then complained that he would then have to wait for her to answer, and that was just too much of an inconvienience. Ok. So we took a small boat to shore, and another ship was ported there too. It was a Celebrity ship, which is the cruise line I would love to work on. Its name: Celebrity Forest Live.
That’s a weird name for a boat. FOREST LIVE. I have no idea….
So my travels in the Mexican Riviera have come to a close. I was there for a month, and in that time I saw quite a bit more than I ever expected out of Mexico. I’ll paraphrase some further adventures:
Went deep sea fishing in Mazatlan for the day. Love boat trips. Didn’t catch a thing but I wore Grandpa Cole’s “Captain” tee shirt. It was a day of reminiscing on the ocean, staring out to sea. Which was nice (and always necessary).
Rented a jeep in Puerto Vallarta and went up to the coast to a nice Bohemian surfing village. Met some corrupt police officers, not cool guys in case you needed to know. Had a very long and unsatisfying lunch there with some other crew members on the beach, and a woman came up to us trying to sell little stuffed monkeys. Her very large child was of course enjoying a feeding from her even larger breast the entire time. I did not buy the monkey from her.
I was going through my invoices one Saturday and had the best three last names in a row I can ever recall. Schmotzer, Shonkwiler, and Snodgrass. You can’t make these things up, but it sounds like a great firm.
After 30 days of accident free days, they throw an all crew safety party. The theme was go dressed as a rock star, so I made up the art team like KISS. It was awesome, and I gotta say that I’m pretty much a kick ass face painter.
When I searched manventure on the internet I was surprised to actually find a definition for it in the urban dictionary. Its hilarious:
man·ven·ture
1. an adventure characterized by manliness or extreme masculinity. 2. an epic journey only undertaken by men, or very masculine women.
~"Hey, want to invite Alfred on our manventure through the jungle?"
"Nah, not Alfred. He's too much of a pansy."
I was going through my invoices one Saturday and had the best three last names in a row I can ever recall. Schmotzer, Shonkwiler, and Snodgrass. You can’t make these things up, but it sounds like a great firm.
After 30 days of accident free days, they throw an all crew safety party. The theme was go dressed as a rock star, so I made up the art team like KISS. It was awesome, and I gotta say that I’m pretty much a kick ass face painter.
When I searched manventure on the internet I was surprised to actually find a definition for it in the urban dictionary. Its hilarious:
man·ven·ture
1. an adventure characterized by manliness or extreme masculinity. 2. an epic journey only undertaken by men, or very masculine women.
~"Hey, want to invite Alfred on our manventure through the jungle?"
"Nah, not Alfred. He's too much of a pansy."
And then beautiful Cabo San Lucas. Sushi, resorts, Land’s End. I will never forget you and will think of you always. I wish you goodbye, until we meet again. You changed my life, you!
And so I move forward to our new destinations. First stop: San Francisco! I am just so excited to see this place. Never been, but only hear the best things. I also found out that I am moving ships. I will be sailing to Alaska in the Artic waters aboard the Rhapsody of the Seas in a week. So, I can then fully say I’ve traveled the west coast of North America. How do you like that, Mexico to Alaska? I have one more week aboard the Mariner and our alternate itinerary will be Portland, Seattle, and Vancouver. And then, on to Alaska for the summer. These are all new places to me, new lands to discover, new adventures to be made.
And so I move forward to our new destinations. First stop: San Francisco! I am just so excited to see this place. Never been, but only hear the best things. I also found out that I am moving ships. I will be sailing to Alaska in the Artic waters aboard the Rhapsody of the Seas in a week. So, I can then fully say I’ve traveled the west coast of North America. How do you like that, Mexico to Alaska? I have one more week aboard the Mariner and our alternate itinerary will be Portland, Seattle, and Vancouver. And then, on to Alaska for the summer. These are all new places to me, new lands to discover, new adventures to be made.
I just love this world.
1 comment:
this post meant a lot to me buddy, i often dream of zombies. and heaven some times. mostly dream about trying to escape. i called all the pigs i coud get my hands on, cole, and i made them into pork chops you can buy them at jewel for one dolloar piece.
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