2 Days to Embarkation

There has been so much going on, and I can't believe that I leave in just under 2 days. But really, its about time. I've been to all the parks now and let me tell you, this place is amazing. As a child, its a fantasyland, as if in a dream. As an adult, you can't help but appreciate all the detail that goes into the real construction of these facilities. The engineering is awe-inspiring and the artistry is breathtaking. Its not really about the rides (mind you there are some awesome ones: Space Mountain, Haunted Mansion, Tower of Terror, Rock'n Roller Coaster, Expedition Everest, African Safari), but the ambiance and subtle touches is what holds this place together. Just being able to walk around and see main street USA, Asia Animal Kingdom, the Tree of Life, Hollywood Tower Hotel, its like stepping into another world and time...another dimension even...another existence...another anything imaginable. Literally, anything imaginable. I went to Epcot today and it was like stepping back into the 1980s. They have this lagoon surrounded by various countries from around the world, and Norway has a viking ride that takes you back to 1982... Norway...in 1982. It was awesome. I have over 300 pictures. I can't wait to show them to you.

Today in training we went over cultural differences as well as the dangers of enclosed spaces. Lets start by talking about these "enclosed spaces". So they're pretty much death traps. When sealed, the oxygen in the air reacts with steal to form rust, removing oxygen from the air. We were told of recent stories of men, as many as 7 of them, going into a recently enclosed space, and falling, one after the other, in attempted rescues, and suffocating to death. We watched a safety video where a huge fat man goes down into an enclosed space on a ship, and looks around with a flashlight. He goes around a corner and theres a guy with a machine gun who shoots him down with an entire belt of bullets. The man then wakes up from his nightmare in bed and squirms awkwardly for about 18 seconds...of hilarity. Then the kicker, the narrator asks "Would you go into an enclosed space knowing there was a man hiding with a gun waiting to kill you!? Of course not." Whoa...De Ja Vu from like 10 years ago...At this point in the video I took out my note pad and started taking down "quote notes". Some of these gems had me excited: "Ventilate the compartment prior to entry, and then test the atmosphere." (I can't wait to test your atmosphere.) also "Consult your master before the permit is issued." And the jewel: "Enclosed spaces are DANGEROUS spaces." Then we watched various movies about ships sinking...Awesome.

So the my crew-class has 28 people in it, and we're from 17 different countries. Thats pretty cool. I hope I can represent my homeland to the best of my ability! In actuality I take it as quite the honor to represent America. Some people look up to us. We've been learning all sorts of good things to know about ships and how to perform during emergency procedures. Did you know that Mr. Mob is code for man overboard? So when you hear, Mr. Mob to starboard side, you know somebody is fucked. My SOLAS is... Safety Of Life At Sea. The "general alarm" begins the evacuation process and is signaled by 7 short blasts followed by one looooong blast, orders to evacuate the ship are given by a following extended blast. Oh, and I'm not allowed to do drugs. During an emergency I'm instructed to be calm yet commanding with guests, as forceful as necessary...in other words, my life summed up in the dream-scenario written procedures for an emergency. Awesome. Red Party deck 4, stern. That's a fire at the back of the boat, and Bright Star is code for... Medical Emergency! Also, Diznee Cruise Ships are completely green, isn't that nice?

The rest of today dealt with talking about cultural differences. In one activity, we were given five people Miguel, Lara, Bartok, Steven, and Francesco. We were then instructed to listen to a story involving them, after which we were to rank them from 1 to 5, using each number only once, 5 being the worst. Here's the story:

Miguel and Lara are deeply in love, but separated by a deep river they can not cross on their own. Bartok has a boat, but will only take Lara over for $20, twice his normal rate. Lara has no money, but then she meets Steven who offers the $20 needed by her in exchange for sex. Lara sleeps with Steven, pays Bartok, and crosses the river so that she may reunite with her love Miguel. Then along comes Francesco who finds out about Lara sleeping with Steven, and tells Miguel. Miguel is furious, and leaves Lara for good.

Ok, now rank them!!

Seriously, what the fuck? I got into such an argument with the Phillipino and Latvian guys I can't even begin to tell you. Obviously Lara is the best one of the bunch because she will obviously go above and beyond in order to get back the love of her life, AND shes a sexy swinging sex-pot. The men in the crew did not want to hear that, but come on! Next in rank is Francesco, the gossip queen, who's totally in love with Miguel and wanted Lara's man all for himself, the queer. Then we have Miguel in third, a.k.a the scorned lover, too proud to see through his haze of jealousy, missing the greatest opportunity for true love in his whole life. In 4th is Steven, the perverted pimp, dirty and oh so lonely too. The only companion he can find is the one he must pay for. How sad it must be to live as poor Steven. And last we have the swindling Bartok. What a terrible character he is, taking advantage of the lost woman, ferrying her to their doom like Charon crossing the river Styx in order to take the living to the land of the dead.

So that was our cultural awareness exercise. Give them all Swedish names and you'll have an Ingmar Bergman masterpiece on your hands. Maybe I'll write that one, and YOU can be in it. Stay on my good side...cause I want you there, dummy :)


Well, good night, my friends! People ask me of my family back in Chicago and nothing comes to my mind except your faces. Sorry to see them all go, but you know thats how the world is as much as I do! Before I'm off to sea I'm going to visit the Magic Kingdom one last time. Where dreams come true! If you make a wish for me, I'll make the same for you!

Love, Coleman