Worst Week/Month/???? Ever

So, Friends,

What was best week ever then became what was looking to be my worst week ever has expanded exponentially to be one of the worst months I've had in a LONGGGG time. I'll start with the good. The new cast is great fun and together with the Elk Island Trio (Canadian Musicians) we've formed a close knit social circle. We go on adventures together exploring misty waterfalls, green gorges with misty waterfalls at the end of them, and warm sulfur pools with mitsy waterfalls at the end of them. The great news is I love waterfalls. I've been fascinated with them since I was a child. Swimming at the base of the Trefalgar Falls, as the white water flows past me, I look up at the air that is also pushed by the falls, flowing with that mysterious mist, and I scream with excitement pretending I'm being washed away in the Poseidon Adventure. My three British dancing lady friends, who I akin to all looking like they're auditioning for a role in a production about Jack the Ripper, say I'm funny, cool, but in a geeky kind of way. This is acceptable. I scream like Sally screams at the end of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Hysterical all at once with laughter, terror, disbelief, relief, and the knowing realization that I have just survived the single most traumatic moment of my life. This is what keeps me sleeping throughout the night.















San Juan is great, I've been exploring alot of old ruins and tunnels and fortresses. You know. So I'm cool there. San Juan really is a gorgeous city with a beautiful bay, and it irks me that everyone wants to go to the mall instead of the beautiful labrynthian constructs that lie awaiting adventurous outings. But this is my life. Some journeys must be taken alone. Other ports are becomin gold beans to me. Jewelry, trinkits, and beaches. They all beocme the same. Sure theres pieces of interesting culture here and there, but it takes some looking, and an effort I can't msuter as of now. I'm mostly looking forward to Bermuda...mostly.














And so the worst of the worst. Whats been so bad? I'd rather not describe. Instead, I'd like to list. Listing the reaons why these last weeks have been the worst. Here's hoping that things can only get better:

1) Almost died in a water taxi collision in St. Maarten.

2) Huge collector had to bow out to financial incompetence. Took two weeks to arrange a wire transfer from shoresdie and apparently her condo was flooded and is currently MIA.

3) Terrible breath on people who want to talk to me about how much great art they have, only to either a) dissapear completely from my auction scene or b) tell me the time just isn't good for them right now (despite the fact they're a self described "fast spender").

4) Have a huge potential sale with a boss's friend fall through on his wedding day after he seriously hurt his head at my auction and then his daughter began bawling (aka bad timing).

5)My phone got spased on at the beach and from now on constantly dials the number four in mid conversation

6)Let my computer use its battery to play me some nice music and has totalled my battery and wont start again...ever..forever...and ever

7)Fell into a pile of rocks, and then tumbled down...down..and one more time and pretty much gave my shoulder a good old heave ho.

8)Raffles and free, wheres my free, I need my FREEEEEEEEEEE

9) "35 dollars is way too much for something that I absolutely love and would undoubtedly enjoy in my personal collection"

10) "I could draw that" (its a painting)

11) Having to resort to convincing old ladies and thier senile spouses to collect art with their credit cards that do or do not work, and then track them down in the morning during breakfast to get the finances to come through.

13) "Did you draw that?" (its a painting)

14) People who are personally offended by my art auctions (despite the fact that they've never been to one) and those who "swear one of these day they're going to find a work of art on a ship they actually like...and not one thats absolutley awful..."(happened to me in the awkward environment that only an elevator could provide)

12) That's not a real Picasso.

13) The insanity of Theresa Banks and her FAR legion

14) Having the sick pleasure of severly discounting a Peter Max with ease simply for the enjoyment of knowing that the collector has to lug the painting across the continent as a take off.

15) Auctioneers across the board are now aboard with me in the No Man's Land of cruising. Like the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner, our fates are being played for by Death and Life in Death. Either way, the outlook is tragic, and sadly, not all of us have been dealt life.