The Day that went to Midnight

If we don’t submit as prisoners of destiny, then we fall as victims of fate.

“Tell us what you found on the mountain, Alice. Tell us what you saw.”

She squeezes her face and looks down into her hands. Her hair is still caked with earth and what else might be. Shaking her head, “I..I can’t. I can’t…remember.”

“It’s alright now,” he assures her. “We have you here, safe. Go on then, tell us what you saw, Alice. Tell us what you found in the sky.”

“I’d fallen... in the mud. I was so confused. Dirty…wet…and cold. See, there’s still snow up there, even though it was so hot, the snow was melting, but still cold. I’d gone too far up, and lost my way. But then there was the green. Everything was green, and bright, like emeralds. All the trees were the same. An emerald forest.

I tried to get down, though, I really did! I thought I’d make my way down, away from that peak…but I only seemed to go around it, each time I started downwards, I’d being going up again, and then it would be there, in the sky. The clouds creeping over the mountain, like they were coming for me. And I knew they were. Finally, I’d come to the lake up there. By that time I was out of the woods, it was beautiful but I was scared. My feet too. I just…I only wanted to go home. I was thirsty and so I had some to drink. The water was too cold, so I thought it best not to have too much. I wanted to get warm. And then when I stood up, he was there. The wanderer.”

“What was his name?”

“He didn’t have one.”

“You mean he wouldn’t tell you?”

“He didn’t have one….”

“…How did you get down the mountain?”

“He said I’d already gone too far…that it wouldn’t let me go… unless I went up there, but that I shouldn’t do that either. It was the only way though. At the top…and I knew he was right. That I should let the mountain have me. To die where I was would have been better than that. But I didn’t. There was not time…ever…never before or ever again…I could feel it frozen in that place…and if I didn’t go up there, I would become just another stone. And so I climbed… up…through the clouds…no more trees, or water…only sky and the stone…and finally I was there looking down, and you could see it…a window…and through it…everything…I knew that through the window I could see everything…a window into another world, one beyond our own. My eyes began to cry and I could feel my face…sort of shake…I stepped closer to see through…to look closer, and there it was. The Devil’s Punchbowl.”

“How did you get down, Alice, to where we found you?”

“I didn’t. Alice is still there, even now, looking through a window…Looking into the Devil’s Punchbowl…a basin of dreams…of nightmares…everything.”

That was my hike to the top of the mountain. My sort of birthday gift to myself, as it were. It took 5 hours, and I’m a quarter century old, so there.

And now, I want to circle back to dancing to Lady Ga Ga. Now, yes, Poker Face is the best dance

song, but I want to declare, officially, how awesome it is, and how often we have kick ass parties on these boats. Put together people from all over the world, usually in their 20s, who work 10-12 hour shifts. Then, out of the number of DJs we have in the crew already, we select one to highlight, per evening, on the back crew deck party zone, and then we get drinks for 2 dollars. By 5am our shirts are off and we’re screaming hell across the ocean. We have some really good

times partying, and there’s no other way to describe it. It really gets out some relief after a long day of work. Now I don’t party like I used to in the college days, and man did we have some great parties then, but literally I feel like a rock star. It used to be every day was a party in college, and we had some real good times…oh the memories…but here it’s pretty much the night before your port days. Little concentrated moments of time where we get to kick back and be ourselves for a while. Sea days are real long, and if the next day is a port day, we have a party.

And we dance, and celebrate, and get goofy, and sexy, and loud, and just love the life. Lots of international music, but lots of influence from a diverse crew already. We all add songs to the mix as it were. And I…am a Lady Ga Ga boy. Put on the Poker Face.

I haven’t posted in a while, but it feels good for me to have these new stories to tell. Built up experiences that are waiting to come forth. I write a little every day, but if I posted, I’d just fill it in with useless banter, and who’s to say I don’t do that now, but at least I feel like I have some stuff to talk about. I am real busy with work, which I don’t mind because I like what I do. And

thats real important too, but the other things, oh the other things…that’s what makes this worthwhile.

In my stateroom, which makes me so compartmentally happy, I put up a tiny set of wind chimes attached to a dream catcher with some feathers. I have a mini fan which catches the feathers every so slightly. Now, it might drive some people crazy, but for me it gives great pleasure. Every so often I hear a nice little chime, and if the boat is rocking, I hear it more often. It reminds me of Alien too, they had wind chimes in their space ship…and while I’m in my cabin, and if the ship is moving…I wonder if I’m not sailing across the stars as well.

Helicopter Glacier Adventure!! Holy SHIT! Guys, pay the money, go on a helicopter glacier adventure. It will change your life. Seriously…Do I need to say anything else about it? Just look at it….LOOK AT IT!

Ask me Again its gonna get you Again!

June is “Make A Wish” month, and so for every cruise I host the “Make a Wish” charity auction before the main stage shows. This is fun for me because I get to wear a tuxedo…AND be extra extra fancy. We auction off stuff like champagne and strawberries in bed with a brunch of

roses…a tour of the bridge with the captain…a tour of the engine room…a spa day followed by ice cream. But this literally is for thousands of people and for thousands of dollars. So I kind of like the attention. It feels nice…It feels like I’m kinda doing something with my life sometimes… Also I like to talk. My job is to talk a lot. I kind of heckle and yell at the crowd to bid more because its for charity…like put your hand in the air because if you don’t you’re going to make someone’s wish NOT come true.

I also host the embarkation Expo for the cruise once everyone gets aboard. Its real cheesy, but there I am, thousands of awestruck faces looking around, and I get to sound like a ring announcer for the WWF. “Ladies anddddd GentleMen!!! Welcome aboard the beautiful Rhapsody of the Seas!!!! If you’re just joining us, you’re in the right spot, because this is our Rhapsody Expo! We have represenativies from all the different areas of the ship that are here to help You have a wonderful vacation in majestic Alaska. Meet our ladies from the Day Spa and ask about all the wonderful ammentities and treatments

available to help you relax and look your brightest for formal night. Gentlemen! Meet our resident tailor who will suit you up in one of our finest tuxedos, and why not surprise your lovely lady with a beautiful bouquet of roses. And who is looking to cruise with lady luck this week? Then meet your dealers from Casino Royale…all here at our Expo, aboard the RHAPSODY OF THE SEASSSSSSS!”

Did I mention I changed my nametag to Coleman Vander Meer? I figured that sounded more like an international art auctioneer.

As a treat for my Birthday I took the art team on a whale watching tour. Now, they always say that

you are not guaranteed to see whales, so prepare yourself. Again…Holy Shit! I’ve never seen so much whale in my life! I lost count! It was like whales whales whales BLOW HOLES! We saw so many whales people were falling asleep! Now these whales you see in Alaska are typically humpback, while Orcas are rarely seen. We saw an entire pod of Orcas! Its amazing. You only see their backs, and sometimes the tails, but shit, I guess this whale stuff is like really kind of

cool. The other great part? You’re on a boat ride…in Alaska…and they sell salmon jerky and homemade doughnuts. Sounds like a great day to me! Throw some whales in there and you got a real memory! Thing is, with humpbacks you are supposed to keep a safe distance of 100 metres, and usually the captain keeps even further. However, you know when the whale is diving down deep when you see its tail, right? Tail in the air, face down towards the bottom. So you don’t know when or where their going to pop up. We had one whale that nearly hit us. Everyone was surprised when it popped up right next to us. And then whenever anyone spots a new whale EVERYONE SCREAMS! Its hilarious. I was like, I don’t get what the big deal is HOLY SHIT A WHALE! And then you can get tricky when you’re like, theres a whale! No that’s a bird. Or, there’s a whale…and a bear….and an eagle… clutching a salmon in its talons… next to Sarah Palin…shooting a moose…on top of a Glacier….innnNNNN….Alaska.

Alaska is beautiful…a beautiful Abba Land…Mountains everywhere…snow caps…adventure…what a sight to behold.

There’s not a whole lot else that’s new on the ship. I have the layout pretty much set with all the secret passages and stuff planned out in my head. All those cubby holes and hideaways. I have manager meetings with the revenue team which is exciting. I’m only 25 and some of these managers are in their 40s. I feel like a business executive sometimes. But there’s a lot of bullshit I have to put together as a manager. All these safety meetings I have to report on, mail outs I have to implement, hosting VIP parties…well those are actually kind of fun. Customs declaration is a nightmare! All these forms I have to fill out! And the coding! Ahhh…who’d think managing cargo could be such a headache!? They should have a product that targets headaches specifically from customs declaration. And I’ll star in its commercial. A spokesman! Luckily, I also got a new assistant, Tarun. He’s 29 and helps me to sell the art. Hes also kind of like my spiritual guru…but I’m also his boss… so I have to talk to him about when its appropriate to have a cigarette break and why its essential for my marketing program that he greets clients in the

gallery during peak hours. That kind of thing. Either way we make a good art team. I have a steward as well named Roger, real nice guy. The H and R manager always calls him George by mistake, so saying “I’ll tell George to do it” has become the new code for I will delegate this task to someone else. I’ll let George know about that little piece of bullshit you need me to take care of. No Problem.

I’m getting quite the reputation around the ship. Everyone whos new has “heard” about me. Well, what’s that supposed to mean? Oh, the art auctioneer…. He’s American… Look if you want my life, you need to be able to handle it. Think you can do what I can do? I’ll refer you to my company, personally, and you can try. Maybe it’s because on the job I get a kick out of pretending to be so professional, so professional that I get all the good comments in our ship’s comment log, yet I’m very stern and composed behind the scenes. Maybe because I get to look great in a suit, only one of the few. Maybe because theres only one person who has my job…ME. Who is THAT man? Oh, that’s Coleman Vander Meer…the Art Auctioneer. My life feels like a play sometimes, an unreality…but when it comes to the crew bar, it aint a party till Coleman arrives.

The weather has been unseasonably beautiful. Clear skies and sunshine. Oh these Alaskan summers. The sun doesn’t set till 10:30pm which is disorienting, but beautiful. I can’t wait till the midnight sunsets. I never thought I’d see the day…that went to midnight.

Looking back at where we’ve come, all the adventures, and those circles we find in life sometimes. I called home the other day and my Mom was telling me about my Grandpa going up to Wisconsin with the Agema boys (cousins). They were out fishing when a boat came up to them with a family who asked if they knew Cole Balogh. Turns out it was a family I had met while hiking in St. John. I wrote about it in my manventures at the time, but we were on the Disney Magic and on a hike. We got to talking and find I’m from Chicago, and they’re from Minnesota. I have a house in Spooner, WI, and they have one outside of Spooner, Have I heard of A and H corner? Yeah, they’re on a little lake, out of the Thousands that are up there, called Middle McKenzie. I’m on Middle McKenzie. And what a funny world that is. So it turns out they meet my family in WI and ask about me. They said they met me in the Caribbean and they thought I was nice so they came over to ask if anyone knew me, which I suppose my family does. For me, hearing this story, it brought a tear to my eye. I could see my Grandpa, up there in my favorite place in the whole world with my cousins, meeting a group of strangers out on the water who had run across my path a time ago, on the other side of the Earth. It really is a funny world sometimes, very large, unpredictable, yet touching. What a home we have.

Later that night I went back to look at those pictures. I found something else that made me laugh to myself. That day when the Disney Magic was docked in St. John, right next to it, was the Mariner of the Seas.

Where now brown cow?