Manventures: Hurricane Paloma

Thanks to you Hurricane Paloma! Well, things have definitely taken a turn for the exciting. We were supposed to go to Saint Martin and Saint Thomas this week, but because of the Hurricane we have had to change our itinerary and go to a new port, Costa Maya in Mexico. One that I had never heard of before, and never expected to ever go to in my whole life. I even got to add an alternate Hurricane route to my Nautical Chart above my bed! This is the way I like it though. Its something that’s happened and you just have to sink or swim, go with the flow. That’s the Sea for you. It’s an adventure and it’s the unexpected. The only time I’ve ever experienced a Hurricane is when I came home from Ecuador. We were flying around the Gulf of Mexico because there was a storm. I guess they thought we were in the clear, but of course we got hit by lightning and had to make an emergency landing in Panama. How exciting! And now this. Costa Maya, here I come! A philosophy I would like to hold tru to is that you must set your sails to the wind and sea what happens. I have yet to be disappointed with this method of life.

However, it is crucial to remember that this global catastrophe is not just some silly method of amusement for me. This is a Hurricane and has already claimed lives. In Haiti it collapsed a school killing around 80 people. It’s something to reflect upon, and pray about. God knows the Haitian people have suffered enough. Here I must be thankful always for my blessings in life, and be sure to say prayers for those less fortunate. Life could be a whole lot worse. Even when I think its rough going, I remember that it could be exponentially worse. As Americans we are privileged from birth, and even then some depending on what family you’re from. Whoever can read this, amidst all we are going through in life, we are probably the luckiest generation in the history of mankind. We have so many blessings in our lives that we have been blinded to what it took to get us here. I can’t even pretend to know this, but I can recognize the hardship it took to get our people to where we are now. To live on a magical ship piloted by a cartoon mouse…its unreality.

There was a woman who I met on Saturday, her first day of the cruise. I asked her if she was looking forward to her trip, in essence her very fortunate next few days. She complained that it was going to be a very expensive trip to Mexico. That, “If I thought anyone knew how to handle a Hurricane, I thought it would be Disney.” I couldn’t answer her. The world is being ravaged by the winds of the Earth and she is complaining about her trip through paradise. I’ll have to reflect on her Karma for some time.

This brings me to something I’ve been thinking about. I work hard a lot of the time and things can get busy. There are some slower times though, and I do a lot of reflection then. Often I take notes about things I can talk about here, online. On the Disney Magic the speakers softly play classic songs from all the old movies, even the more obscure ones. Sure we have songs from Lion King, Aladdin, and Beauty and the Beast, but also Bed Knobs and Broomsticks, and The Jungle Book. However, we also get alternate versions of songs from the movies, and one specifically is “The Circle of Life.” This version repeats three times one part of the lyric, saying that it’s the circle of life, that its “the wheel of fortune.” I’d never heard this before, and the way its sung, in tone and emotion, is very poignant, bringing chills down my back. It’s a weird sympathetic reason to all the hard feelings I might have. Almost as if by telling me that what happens, always, is part of this wheel. Its a rationalization for all that changes the world. Now, the Wheel of Fortune is the most neutral and powerful of all ancient symbols and philosophies. It tells us that what brings life must also bring us death. Riches or poverty, the chances can turn on you just as easily. Its unsettling in many ways. Now I also believe that this wheel, this fortune or destiny, is steered by a higher power. If we disregard this power, I fear that a consequence will surely follow. And that plays into the concept of Karma. Our good fortune must be appreciated, thanked, and even paid for, or the higher power could just as easily turn the wheel upon us. It’s the circle of life, and it moves us all, it’s the Wheel of Fortune. For now, the wheel turns in my favor, and Lord am I thankful. I pray that I might always become a better man, a good man, and that the wheel turns in my good favor.

As for ship life, it’s an interesting thing to be accustomed to. Already we’ve lost quite a few people to the land. For whatever reason they couldn’t handle being on the ship, and have since parted ways, going back to whence they came. I couldn’t’ imagine leaving right now, I enjoy it too much. Its very different and difficult, but even more so rewarding. Being at Port Canaveral every Saturday is a blessing. Pictures don’t do justice to how beautiful my ship is. Seeing it from afar is majestic and intimidating. You must remember, though, that in traverses the great seas as carrier to multiple countries. Security is tight and there are various checkpoints, all of which are extremely exciting for me. I feel like such an “insider” walking along the ship through the checkpoints with my Identification, specifically my dear Seaman’s book. Up above the dock is the gangway for guests, and they always watch all the crew below them as we board. Its customary to wave, and I do proudly. Our ship is such a massive thing that takes us across the world. For many people the time they spend aboard will be the highlight of their year. She deserves the respect and awe that we all truly feel. Canaveral is also very beautiful by the way. I can see the NASA launching pads from where we dock, and this last Saturday we got to see the Blue Devil fighter jets rehearsing their formations. The bay itself is dotted with small islands and fishermen. It’s a seaman’s paradise. Being part of this whole thing just feels immensely significant. In my heart it feels meaningful and right, which is something I have been searching for. I wasn’t sure what I would be doing with my life after school, and was never sure, but I know that where I am right now is very much the right place. I’m part of something unlike anything I could ever imagine, a part of the wheel of fortune that very few people even knew exist, and which might exist for only a short time to come. For that I give my praise to the world. I wish I scanned you sea and never be content.

Because of Hurricane Paloma, I was given extra time off on Castaway Cay in the Bahamas. It’s become my own personal slice of paradise, unlike any other. Later that evening there was a crew party held on deck two in the aft mooring station (where all the ropes are stored when we tie the ship up to the dock). Essentially that’s the outdoor deck at the very ass end of the ship. It’s an incredible place. The propellers create a huge wake to the ship and we were maybe 15 feet away from the churning waters. It’s this huge, turbulent wave coming out from under the ship, and most of us just stared down off the balcony. It’s a sight and sound to behold. My friend Normands said that this moment would be something that he would try to explain to his friends back home, but would never be able to relay properly, in order to give justice to the experience. I totally agree. I can only tell you, it’s something I truly wish I could share, even just a glimpse of. It made me a little sad then, thinking about all the people I wish I could have with me to share this moment with. You get to thinking about all great times and missed moments with those people, the ones you care about. And then you can just look off into the distance and disregard those feelings. What good do they do to you out here, in the middle of the sea? That’s an easy out that I know deep down I can’t take. You can’t live off of your regrets and longings, but you must recognize them for what they are. To those of you who know who you are to me, I’m sorry.

I had a sad dream. I dreamed that I was missing some friends and one specifically I thought I didn’t have to worry about anymore, because they actually lived on the ship with me, and that I haven’t seen them recently because they’ve just been too busy. I woke up then, into reality, and thought the same thing, that I would see this person soon. It was sort of like when you dream of Christmas morning, and you wake up and still think its Christmas only to realize that no, that was only part of the dream. That’s what this dream was like. It took a good few moments to realize that no, this person is not also on the ship with me, and that I will not see them or anyone else for a long time still… I’m alone still.

I really haven’t made any real good friends since I started this journey. It’s a small price to pay in life, but it’s something I can’t help but reflect upon. Its hard to see pictures of people back in the states. In ways I miss that life, but in many I do not. Talking to my mom, there are a lot of things changing for everyone in my family. People losing their jobs, their wives, their health. Its hard to be removed from that, but also very convenient. In ways it’s just something I have to be able to process removed. I’m sorry peoples lives are changing in those directions, but here, especially this far away, I have no way to control it.

Back on Castaway Cay, my retreat, my SOLAS, I had extra time because the Hurricane shifted around our schedules. I might work hard but I have one hell of a break room. I didn’t have to work till 7pm, unusually, so I got to enjoy the crew beach all day. Thanks to you Hurricane Paloma! On the crew beach they have a hut where they cook BBQ and play typical Rastafarian music, as well as a volleyball court next to some hammocks. I’ve been playing a lot of volleyball recently, which has not been an expected addition to my life, but is in no way unwelcome. I met a few friends this way, and also lots of people sit around and spectate. I wonder if anyone’s watching me? My roommate Syed and I have grown close, and we practice our volleyball together. Colby from the US, our crew activities officer and I have become chummy, and I get along with September and Sandor too (Sandor is from Hungary). The whole island used to run drugs before the Disney kingdom conquered it, claiming it as its own. However, the crew beach is definitely an old site from way back when, one with old, purposefully placed trees and worn paths. Whatever history this island has, this beach has played a major part. It’s the most secluded, and if I had to choose a place to run my drug cartel out of, this would be it. Knowing this, I enjoy my time here even more. Because I had such a long free day, I stayed until everyone else left and did some exploring on my own.

Just a couple hundred yards off the beach there is a seaweed bed where I found hundreds of thousands of fish spawning in a giant school. It was incredible. Mixed in among these small silver fish were larger, blue finned fish that were eating them. And mixed in with them was the singular giant barracuda. It was a freakish monster. My boss said it was the biggest barracuda he had ever seen. How exciting and frightening! There were also some Balihoos to which I ask Bali-Whaaaaat!? But if you know me, I feel very much at calm in the water. So for a long time I would just hold my breath and suspend myself in the middle of this living maelstrom, always on the look out to make sure Mr. Barracuda was far enough away. I was surrounded by a huge curtain of teaming life, all moving in unison around a giant, lurking behemoth of a fish. Oh, Barracuda! You’ve seen it on the Discovery Channel before, but this was better than watching television. My life is better than television. Thats something to be thankful for, and something I say with complete confidence and satisfaction. In years to come, when I have children, I can speak of the time I lived on the Disney Magic, when I lived in the Caribbean. What an incredible story. Coming out of the water I saw that a large blue heron had been standing on shore keeping guard. I’m sure he wasn’t just watching me, by why not say so. He was there looking at me for a long time and I thought about who it that was looking back.

Walking around I found a stream where the tide was pushing water back towards the island, filling the mangrove wetlands with sea water. Life teemed in the pools there as well, and what a world we live in, where so much life has sprung out of the rocks and heat where no life has been before? What a miracle of a planet we call home, and how did I come to be here? Not only am I extremely comfortable in life, but I’m also life as a anomaly. Simple and complex in infinite ways. Out of the history of the universe has there been anything like this place here?

Then I start thinking about eternity. In theory our universe is infinite, and so it goes on forever in space and time. So was there eternity before our life on Earth, and eternity after? It boggles my mind. If so, then are there infinite combinations of worlds throughout infinite space, and if so, wouldn’t it make sense that out of infinity there would be the same combination of elements that make up my life right now? Is there another Coleman Vander Meer Balogh out there in the middle of the Caribbean Sea aboard the Disney Magic? I don’t know. I’m one simple man, looking for adventure. I set my sail to the wind only to sea what happens. And for that, I wish I scanned you sea and never be content.